THE CARDBOARD CARTELRESPECT THE TABLE.
Cardboard Cartel
Respect the Table Tee
The unofficial official uniform.
$28.00
BETA MERCHANDISE LABWear the joke.
Wear the joke.
Respect the table.
These are concept products for member feedback. Nothing is for sale yet, no orders are being collected, and the Member Exchange remains a completely separate future feature.
THE CURRENT LINEUP
Suggest a shirtDefinitely legitimate merchandise.
05
Cardboard Cartel
I KNOW A GUYWITH THAT EXPANSION.
Cardboard Cartel
Expansion Connection Tee
No questions. No receipts. All expansions.
$29.00
UNDER MEEPLEPROTECTION.
Cardboard Cartel
Meeple Protection Tee
Your identity and player color remain confidential.
$27.00
THIS GAMEFELL OFF A TRUCK.
Cardboard Cartel
Fell Off a Truck Tee
The crate was already open when we found it.
$31.00
A COMPLETELY LEGITIMATEGAMING ORGANIZATION.
Cardboard Cartel
Completely Legitimate Tee
Printed statement constitutes proof.
$28.00
06
Table Diplomacy
I’M NOT COMPETITIVE.YOU’RE JUST CHEATING.
Table Diplomacy
Competitive Spirit Tee
For gracious winners and completely innocent losers.
$27.00
NOTHING PERSONAL.I NEEDED THE VICTORY POINTS.
Table Diplomacy
Victory Points Tee
Friendship resumes after final scoring.
$26.00
TEMPORARY ALLIANCE.PERMANENT SUSPICION.
Table Diplomacy
Temporary Alliance Tee
Terms expire at the beginning of your turn.
$27.00
I WOULD NEVERBETRAY YOU. THIS TURN.
Table Diplomacy
This Turn Tee
A legally meaningless promise.
$25.00
COOPERATIVE GAME.INDIVIDUAL BLAME.
Table Diplomacy
Individual Blame Tee
We win together and identify the responsible party.
$26.00
I’M FUN. ASK ANYONE.EXCEPT THAT GUY. THAT GUY SUCKS.
Table Diplomacy
Ask Anyone Tee
Independent references available upon selective request.
$26.00
06
Gamer Dysfunction
ANALYSIS PARALYSISCONFUSION OR STRATEGY?
Gamer Dysfunction
Analysis Department Tee
Please allow 20 minutes to select a size.
$26.47
I’M NOT LOSING.I’M GATHERING DATA.
Gamer Dysfunction
Gathering Data Tee
The dataset currently contains several defeats.
$25.00
TRUST ME.I’VE READ HALF THE RULES.
Gamer Dysfunction
Half the Rules Tee
The important half remains under discussion.
$24.00
MY TURN?I WASN’T PAYING ATTENTION.
Gamer Dysfunction
My Turn Tee
Please summarize every action since setup.
$23.00
QUICK GAME?FAMOUS LAST WORDS.
Gamer Dysfunction
Quick Game Tee
Estimated completion: eventually.
$25.00
THE BOX SAID 60 MINUTES.THE BOX LIED.
Gamer Dysfunction
The Box Lied Tee
Setup, teaching, and arguments not included.
$26.00
04
Dice & Probability
I CARRY RANDOMNUMBER GENERATORS.
Dice & Probability
Random Number Generator Tee
Dice sold separately. Obviously.
$29.00
I’M A WINNER.MY DICE AREN’T.
Dice & Probability
Compromised Dice Tee
The investigation remains ongoing.
$25.00
THE DICE HAVE SPOKEN.THEY’RE IDIOTS.
Dice & Probability
Dice Have Spoken Tee
An appeal has been filed.
$25.00
PROBABILITY ISMORE OF A GUIDELINE.
Dice & Probability
Probability Guideline Tee
Statistically, this shirt should work.
$27.00
05
Murder Hobo · RPG Satire
MURDER HOBOBECAUSE VIOLENCE DOES SOLVE PROBLEMS.
Murder Hobo · RPG Satire
Problem Solver Tee
When every encounter looks suspiciously combat-shaped.
$27.13
MURDER HOBOWHO NEEDS A PLOT?
Murder Hobo · RPG Satire
Who Needs a Plot Tee
The dungeon master had notes. Had.
$25.00
MURDER HOBONOT VIOLENCE. SHORTCUTS.
Murder Hobo · RPG Satire
Shortcuts Tee
Efficiency is a character trait.
$26.00
MURDER HOBODIPLOMACY WAS NOT SELECTED.
Murder Hobo · RPG Satire
Diplomacy Tee
Charisma was the dump stat.
$24.20
MURDER HOBOLOOT FIRST. BACKSTORY LATER.
Murder Hobo · RPG Satire
Backstory Later Tee
A complete five-step character-development plan.
$28.00
01
Chaotic Alignment
I’M NOT EVIL.I’M BAD-ADJACENT.
Chaotic Alignment
Bad-Adjacent Tee
Morally flexible. Socially delightful.
$26.66
02
Inside Jokes
THIS SHIRT WOULD BE AWESOMEIF IT WEREN’T FOR COPYRIGHT LAWS.
Inside Jokes
Copyright Department Tee
Licensing fees conceptually included.
$1,847.63
AUSTRALIAIF YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW.
Inside Jokes
Australia Tee
No explanation will be provided.
$24.99
02
Shelf Management
IT’S NOT A COLLECTION.IT’S A LIBRARY.
Shelf Management
Game Library Tee
The lending policy is still being drafted.
$27.00
I BOUGHT ANOTHER GAME.WE’LL DISCUSS IT LATER.
Shelf Management
Another Game Tee
The group has not been consulted.
$28.00
01
Members Only
MADE MEMBERCARDBOARD CARTEL
Members Only
Made Member Jacket
You don’t buy this jacket. The table chooses you.
OUT OF STOCK
The concept shop is here to test slogans, designs, and demand before The Cardboard Cartel selects a merchandise partner.
Vote through feedback
Social Gaming
Much Rejoicing Tee
Celebration scheduled immediately after final scoring.
Shy Gamer Tee
Independent verification available after game night.
Eye Contact Tee
Multiplayer gaming with actual players.